neighlasko

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Senses Fail - Buried a Lie

Ominious music, anyone? If I die from this, I want someone to sprinkle my ashes in a paint can and paint me a smiley face...

...On some poor unsuspecting school with chances of legal ramifications.

Damn you, Bio.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Rusted Roots - I'm On My Way

Problems have a habit of melting off like wax in the sun.

It's still there, but it's not slowing you down anymore.

(And DAMMIT, Girl Next Door! Turn off your alarm clock!)

I want life to feel unreal again.

Current Mood: scared

Sometimes I wonder if those who die feel the pressure of death upon them beforehand but think they're being too silly.

Maybe it's just because I'm home and my thoughts tend to lean more to death than life. Maybe it's because I'm having chest pains and no medical insurance to have it checked out. Maybe because I'm realizing just how frail my body is. How easily my life can be taken.

How easily I can be snuffed out like a candle.

This isn't the first night I worried that I would not wake up in the morning. The first night here it took me ages to fall asleep because I was worried I would never open my eyes again.

Now that I think on it, every night since that first has been plagued by the small, nagging feeling that the end of my life is looming just around the corner. That, one of these nights, I will not wake. Like now. 

I need to go home.

Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: Savage Garden - Violet, by now.

Couldn't think of a subject line so I just typed in the song I was currently listening to.

Okay, the fun has began. Sarcasm.

Back home. Whore's still a big bitch who seems to have come to the conclusion that I now owe her something. Or the world does. And, as part of the world, I need to lick her ass clean. 

My other cousin, Gothie, finally moved out of the woods and into my uncle's house in Swansboro. But it doesn't stop her from coming over here when I'm trying to psyche myself out into typing my English paper. She spends about an hour getting me the "You look horrible!" look that sounded more like it came from Whore than anyone else.

They've become friends, see, and Gothie's a natural back-stabbing gossiper. I was always annoyed by her by the time we reached our teens. And she refused to give me a hug, spent an hour demanded to know why I wasn't dressed Goth anymore and telling me that I was wearing too much colors (Blue and tan).

She then kicked me off my own computer while I was typing the paper and deleted the window without saving it so she could get on her MySpace and gaze at pictures of herself.

Then, Whore spent forever in the back of the trailer 'getting ready for church' which involves about 90lbs of make up and four outfit changes. The entire hour and a half getting ready was punctuated by occasional shouts of "I'll be ready when I'm fucking ready!"

Such a good little Christian girl that constantly tells me that I 'need to find Jesus'. And wear more makeup.

Dali.

I was almost relieved when I glanced down at the phone when it rang and it was Ed's dad.

Well, I thought it was Ed, so I bolted outside and away from Gothie, CoolCousin, Kwissy, and Gothie's Fiancee.

Ed's dad got the wrong number, but while he was on the phone, he filled me in.

Ed's been promoted at work, he's got his license, his car, and a plan to put in for School of the Arts again or Cape Fear. I was speechless for a moment, then I told him that I was immeasurably happy that life was finally taking a good turn.

I can see where Ed gets his negativity from, though.

"So, how's life in the Brink Family?"

"It's....going."

Their yard flooded again and they're stuck in canoes again.

I told the dad that I was home until Sunday and if Ed wanted to hang out, then let me know.

So, that was a surprise.

And poor kitty Livi got stranded in our flooded yard on a floating piece of wood howling like crazy until I waded out and saved her fuzzy butt.

Now she's watching the moving screen with great interest and attacking these words every few minutes.

But, all in all, I'm going Christmas shopping tonight with CoolCousin. I'm eating Thanksgiving at home and Whore is eating with her dad so I won't have to put up with her. I'm seeing Hopeless on Friday. And hopefully Saturday.

This break doesn't look too bad so far. Just slightly irritating.

If I have to hear Whore complain once about how stupid I am for not loading my hair down with hairspray when it's supposed to rain, I'm going to scream. Then, snatch up Livi and Tybalt, and go home.

It's odd how Boone's more home than this ever was. It's odd how I notice it now. It's still not ringing that I'm supposed to be there, but it's a hundred times better than this. Ack. 

5 days.